"That's alls I can stands, and I can't stands no more."

No its not a GBCW post....Just.....ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Yesterday we got into a kerfuffle with Telus.

We're The Phone Company

Here at the Phone Company we handle eighty-four billion calls a year.

Serving everyone from presidents and kings to scum of the earth. We realize that every so often you can't get an operator, for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order [plucks plug out of switchboard], or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn't make.

We don't care.
Watch this - [bangs on a switch panel like a cheap piano]

just lost Peoria.
You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space-age technology that is so sophisticated, even we can't handle it.

But that's your problem, isn't it ? Next time you complain about your phone service, why don't you try using two Dixie cups with a string.
[loud, booming "Liquid Plummer" voice-over] We don't care.

We don't have to. We're the Phone Company.

 

 

That's just the beginning.

Next: the power went out today. Oh I know, happens on occasion. Here? It happens a hell of a lot. Calm sunny days, windy days, days with an R in them, days with an S. Bite me. Bite my fat white ass BC Hydro.

Next: the Cable Company. The cable went out AGAIN. So I called. Completely pointless.

"Do you have a router?" they say.

"yes" I say.

"Theres no problem here with our perfect equipment, it has to be yours"

"But it was working just a few minutes ago?" I say.

"computers are funny things maam" (service person code for BITCH!)

We are the cable company. We dont care.
Next: MSN won't let me log in unless I update to the NEW LIVE VERSION. If anyone wants to get a hold of me, I still have the email, and will be using google chat. You bite my fat white ass too, MSN.

So, some of these nice people are getting a call tomorrow, and I'm re-evaluating all the services we pay money for and get shit in return for. At any rate, all the extras are going, and I am looking at satellite internet and Voice over IP. Fuck, Ill start sending smoke godamned signals before I give them one more monopolized penny. And again, they can all bite, my fat white ass.

That's all.

Rant and Wrave, out.

Hate the cable, phone, or electric company? Let it all out baybay.