Don't open until midnight
Sorry I can't be around tomorrow. I'm just going to drop this little package off at the door and run.
Couldn't help but notice that there's been a bit of stress around the place lately.
For the founders and their partners Pale & LHV, Prole & Mr. Prole:
A bit of a break from routine, a summer vacation. Leave the kids. You're off to England for two fabulous weeks. Arriving in London more than a bit jet lagged I figured the first day or so you'd want to just stay up all night clubbing, so I didn't book any accommodation whatsoever. For the next few days you'll be at the London Marriott County Hall right across the river from Big Ben and right beside the Millenium Wheel.
While in London you'll attend three plays by local writer. (Somebody I've never heard of but they tell me he's good.) You get to see his most profound tragedy, his most sparkling comedy and his great bourgeois farce. You won't have to worry about seats because I got you tickets right up front at the Globe. You'll be groundlings, apparently that's a jolly olde tradition in London. Those plays, let's see, they are King Lear, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and The Merry Wives of Windsor. "Totus Mundus", baby as the locals say.
Bob's your uncle and you're off to St. Ives Cornwall by train. It is an artists' colony that is home to the Tate Gallery of Modern and Contemporary Art Afterwards you two, times two, too can weigh in on whether or not Canada's National Gallery got hosed when it bought Barnett Newman's Voice of Fire
While in St. Ives you'll stay at the fabulous Porthminster Hotel A hired car with driver will get you over to the stone circle called the The Merry Maidens . Jeeves will retire to an appropriate distance and mind his own business if Pale and LHV want to really feel the energy flow there at midnight. Just leave a few flowers in the centre of the circle. Meanwhile I've booked the Proles on a helicopter trip to the Scilly Isles, just to be silly together. Don't try rowing those 28 miles in an inflatable beach dinghy. After about six miles of fighting currents and waves the lad I saw being returned to shore by the all volunteer Royal Navy Lifeboat Institute seemed grateful for some help.
A few days of hiking along the coast will get you right as rain. I've made arrangements for you to hike out to Logan Rock then back to my favourite pub, Logan Rock Inn Try the St. Austell ale, a fish pie and a treacle treat for dessert.
Cornish pasties. (That's a type of pastry and no I didn't make a spelling error) What can I say? They'll fill you up that's for sure. Try the fish and chips. They're great. Rather than go for the obvious and suggest Jamie Oliver's Fifteen Cornwall (I fully support Jamie's good work to train otherwise lost youth.) I'm booking you into Rick Stein's restaurants and cookery school. You didn't think you'd go for a full two weeks without somebody telling you what to do did you?
Did I mention that Cornwall is Pirate country? You can visit Penzance, Mousehole, and all the other little coves where the booty was brought in. Surprisingly, Daphne du Maurier's Jamaica Inn isn't near the sea. I've booked you a seat close to the spot where Joss was murdered. See for yourself if there are ghosts about.
By this time I'm sure Pale's maternal instinct is taking over. What about the children? I've taken care of that too. Both Frank Frink and Willy Be will be receiving bus tickets and a copy of Uncle Buck in preparation for their two weeks of babysitting. Thanks guys!
But you won't be alone, because Laura L. and the faculty over at the Eagle Arts Summer Camp will be providing most of the supervision over at beautiful Shawinigan Lake on Vancouver Island. FF and Willy Be will have their own cabin. The camp won't permit lathes or axes so I've arranged for some whittling knives for you, courtesy of Dick Blick, the artist's pick. (SShhhhhh, Willy, the canvas case has a Dremel tool in it but don't tell anybody.) .) That's the disabled emoticon. It only has one eye due to a tragic shop accident. For heaven's sake be careful boys. To help while away the hours BC Liquor Stores has a cube van at the ready. The initial order was for two of everything plus a case of the best. I've also arranged for a gift card up to a max of $4,000. They said they'd never had an order like that before but they were quite accommodating when I told them there had been a problem with the e. coli counts up at Shawinigan Lake and you wouldn't be able to drink the water. I didn't think you'd be interested in food after all that, but they've assured me you can join the campers for meals, if you behave.
One axe that is allowed is the one Ray Gander, of Gander Guitars was kind enough to make to order for Frank Frink. It should be ready by summer. It is a one of a kind Libra bass that should look something like this when it is finished.
I didn't forget about you Willy. Here's a rather unique flying wedge koa ukulele for you, made by Tikiri Polynesian Instruments
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays All!
and Cheers!
Are you really sure
you want me around pale's kidz? Well, OK. I am sort of like Mr. Rogers, on three hits of purple microdot.
Everything's cheaper than it looks.
Whaaa?
$4,000 worth of booze, a roof over your head and a brand new custom guitar and all you're concerned about is the children?
I had the wrong impression. Maybe I shoulda included a carton of smokes.
Nobody has respect for titles anymore either. Geez.
You mean you just now realized
my priorities are a bit skewed?
I was sure it was after midnight... in Brazil.
Solstice de inverno feliz.
ps - Love the whammy bar. Now where did I put that wah-wah pedal.
Everything's cheaper than it looks.
Whammy, Wah Wah
That's an artisanal luthier bespoke piece.
Uhh. I think.
Unique. Just like you.
Thats so sweet!
I was gonna write up an idea like this, but yanno? the plague.
Hugs to you P2P. :)
Maybe I can get a readers digest condensed version together...
The thing runs all day 2morrow, so if you do get a chance to pop in...
FF. You have met my kids..lol. They are as nutz as me, think you would all get along great...:)
Powers that be, powers of three, keep me strong during this insanity......
I was going to call this
"How I spent my summer vacation" but I thought I'd share in a different way.
Don't worry about the kids. The faculty will have everyone under control. (Check the faculty page Pale.)
And I'm sure someone will look in on FF and Willy Be once in a while too.
Unfamiliar as I am with the whole Solstice celebration I don't know whether or not there's a penalty for peeking at presents early. You make the call.
I'm on the road tomorrow.
Best Wishes.
It's after....
...midnight now, at least on my clock. 'Course you never said after midnight on which day or at what location. I would contend that ff did not break or bend any rules. He's not the kind of guy that would do that.
I can handle two weeks babysitting. I assume that Pale will be sending all the kids, including the cute one ( ok then, perhaps they're all cute, but one is the cutest ). I'm ok with kids, or at least as good as Uncle Buck, as long as they stay off the damn lawn.
Now two weeks with Frank, a carving kit and a cube van from a liquor store. Oh boy. I guarantee three things - a pile of shavings suitable for starting a fire, the spillage of at least a half pint of my blood ( but no libations ) and that Frank will be converted to a die-hard fan of the Green & White ( instead of the Leos ).
Now that there ukulele thing there. I could learn to use that. It's got eight strings I see. That's like a double bass then, right Frank ? I don't doubt that you could learn me up on that, or with it. Hell by the tenth day I might even use it to paddle myself off the damn island.
It appears that the Eagle summer camp won't be making Eagle Scouts out of the young'uns. Dancing and singing and acting and such like. Sure that's all well and good. Just to round out their experiences I'll get some of the boys to come out on the weekend and teach them how to tweak a 850 Holley double-pumper ( warning - 'pdf' tech sheet that actually shows you how to tweak the damn thing ). Sid ran a '56 panel delivery, Quincy has a '56 blown 2 door sedan with a slap-shift and Bono cruised in a sweet black '57 hardtop, so they know what they are talking about. I'm fair sure the will be able to help out with the cube van also.
Mighty kind of you p2p, to include such a fine lot of gifts for us all. I would like to give you a gift befitting of a person of your taste and class. However I don't know what that should be. What I can do is give you an all expense paid trip to the Stanley Cup playoffs. Premium seats, luxe accommodations, limo from hotel to the rink - all seven games. Air fare back and forth between the cities that the teams are from.
Only one wee hitch. It will be for the year that the Leafs are playing in the Cup. I understand that the home games for the Leafs are in your neck of the woods. So the limo ride would be right from your door to the rink.
Just so you know that I am serious, I'm putting 50 bucks in a trust fund tomorrow. It will grow to pay for all the expenses by the time the Leafs make the Cup and you can have whatever is left over. Don't discount the power of compound interest, you'll be a rich man. I'm Frank's age so I am putting my son in charge of the trust fund. He is still in his early twenties and will be able to make all the arrangements when the time comes. I trust the heiress is also a Leafs fan as she may be better able to appreciate this gift when it comes around.
For the blog mistresses and their significant others, just before they return back from the British Isles, a side trip. To Haapsula Estonia and the Laine hotel and spa for a lava rock massage. They say it will warm you to the bone, which is what you will need after being chilled to the bone hiking.
What to get for the Frinkster ? I have too much respect for the man and for the Leos to get him a crying towel over the matter of the West Final. Perhaps a bottle of this. I fear this kind of thing may be a rarity.
I am not politically or cuturally correct enough to wish everyone Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas to all. However, I mean no offense and will wish you health, love and happiness in whatever form suits your fancy.
P.S. The Voice of Fire thingy. I never did understand it. It's like art right ? Cost big bucks. A large canvas that must be seen in person to be truly appreciated. It has no fire on it, it doesn't say anything. I don't know about value for the dollar, but I could make a case for false advertising.
Thanks Willy
My Dad's the long-suffering loyal Leaf fan. He's even got the grandkids in Calgary cheering for them.
A few years ago one of my brothers-in-law came up with some corporate tickets for a Leafs game. He was kind enough to give them to my Dad. I took Dad to witness the spectacle. My Dad took the train into Toronto and we met in the lobby of the Royal York hotel. Shortly after Dad arrived we bumped into the Right Honourable Joe Clark who was carrying his own bags from the elevator to the clerk's desk, unaccompanied by any entourage. Only in Canada. (Mr. Clark fully deserves the title "Honourable".)
We went to a sports bar close to the ACC for a few drinks and dinner. The place was full of hockey memorabilia. My Dad's not shy and soon he was entertaining a small crowd of men with his stories. As I listened I thought, gee those are fantastic stories. The men were in awe. Some of the stories seemed too incredible to be true, but I knew those stories and my Dad; they were all 100% verifiable. He'd point to the 1967 Stanley Cup team and talk about Red Kelley from their days at St. Michael's high school. (The first time I remember hearing that story my dad was pointing out their pictures in the yearbook.) Dad was enjoying every minute. But eventually we'd have to go to the game. He's been waiting 40 years for the Leafs and at this rate I think your money will have another 40 years to grow.
Voices of Fire. Do you remember people offering to get their three cans of pain, their paint rollers and creating a similar piece for a lot less than the National Gallery paid? It must be fun to be an artist. I'd like to try it some day.
Merry Christmas Willy!
I understand long-suffering....
...sports fans. The seemingly impossible can happen. The Leafs will drink from Lord Stanley's cup. Sadly, 50 bucks may be enough seed money for the gift I offer. Your Dad sounds like a interesting fellow.
Do I remember offers from people with paint rollers ? Hell, I was one of those people. I recall one of the reasons that people were upset with the purchase was that the artist was not a Canadian. The funding and promotion of art is a tricky proposition. Even educating the general public about art and what constitutes good art is primarily a judgment call.
Hummmm, do I fund the 'meat dress' or the 3 stripe thing. I can't decide, let's fund both.
Awwww p2p you shouldn't have!
How did you know that I've always wanted to see England? What a fabulous, wonderful gift. Thank you so much!
If I can get my "online" shopping done today I will post everyone's gifts. Otherwise they will have to wait until next weekend when I return from the frozen tundra. I have an extremely busy day today, getting ready to leave in the morning.